Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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