she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
