well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
