it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
