Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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