Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
