I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
