i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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