if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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