Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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