whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
