ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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