Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
