He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
