Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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