I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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