My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize