sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize