but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
