Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
