So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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