woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
