Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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