i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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