All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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