i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
