He is an equal opportunity slut.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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