he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
