I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
