I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
