your parents love me but you hate me
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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