Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
