Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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