I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
