dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize