I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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