Don't make out with my wife yet
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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