You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
