Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just gargled with NyQuil
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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