Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
