Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
