idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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