if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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