You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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