She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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