Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
