At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
