I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
