just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
