Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
