using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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