I got chris browned last night
do herpes really smell.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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