i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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