I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
