Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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