She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
