Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
