At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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