I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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