she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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