I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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