Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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